The secret art of charm
When you want something and someone else must decide to give it to you, take an extra moment and talk with them before asking. Smile, and notice something about them that they had a choice in, such as hair/haircut, clothing, word choice, but not something they had no choice in like their name, their eyes, etc. People feel dignified when they are complimented on something they care about. It’s recognition for the work they put in – not something they were born with.
Find out their name and say it a few times in the first moments of conversation. This is a universal tactic to remember names (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge all you people who say “I’m terrible at remembering names”). Hearing your own name is the most beautiful sound.
Treat someone better than they think they’re worth and you’ll have an ally for at least a day. And once you have an ally, getting that thing you want becomes a goal you can both achieve together.
Why time speeds up with age: a hypothesis
Time and the passing of time is perceived by different parts of the brain in different ways; and none of it has anything to do with our internal body clock or circadian rhythm. There are many factors, such as blood flow and the mix of endorphins in that blood, or how actively, or minutely we focus. Boredom for example, leads us to focus far more on small details, which we know seems to slow the passage of time. But what explains this concept of a perceived acceleration of time passage while aging?
I’ll break it down. When a five year old gets older by one year, to age six, an entire 20% of their life is added on to their life experience and it only took one year. Whereas when a year is added on to a 35 year old’s life it only adds a proportional fraction to their life experience and it cost a whole year. That’s the essence of it.
Now the question on my mind: how do I actively create more situations and environments that help me slow down time and enjoy more of the moments along the way? I can say from experience, one thing is putting down the smartphone, getting it out of my hands, being away from it for extended periods of time daily.
Any other ideas?
I went to family camp
Since as long as I can remember (and much longer before that) my family on my mother’s side has attended family church camp in Ohio, near Pennsylvania. As a kid, I looked forward to camp more than my own birthday. For those who don’t already know I have a huge family in that area, tons of cousins, aunts and uncles. I got uncles with farms, aunts with swimming pools, cousins with farms. Farms are a big theme out in Ohio and Pennsylvania. But camp, camp is where everyone comes together for 10 straight days with more commitment than a nun and ready to have fun!
This year I had the immense pleasure of bringing my older son for his first time. He got to experience a taste of the same freedom, unfiltered fun and family that I did growing up. It made me happy.
And it was so nice to catch up with many family members in a relaxed setting. Now back to reality…
Bonus: a baby’s view